Yay....

Woke up at my boyfriends house today. He didnt touch me, kiss me, talk to me, look at me nothing.
I got out of bed, put on my pants, grabbed my phone off the windowsill and my hat off the bed. then put on my sweatshirt and coat. Said bye. and walked out the door.

now last night i went over to try and talk things out that were bothering me. and i thought it would be ok and that i'd feel better after talking things out.

apparently i was wrong.

i went over around midnight, and we talked til like 3am and i said i'd work on things and he said he's work on things. and then he got his laptop and ignored me. so i went to sleep.

i woke up to him on his laptop watching something. so obviously he was awake for a while. never touched me. never kissed me. never tried to cuddle. never looked at me. nothing. nothing at all.

after i left i got maybe 2 blocks down the road and just started crying. this is not ok.

i'm so miserable and i tried to make it better but i made it worse.

and he's mad i talked about him, he's mad that i'm so easily identified with my mohawk up. he doesn't like to be judged.

he's mad because of all these insecurities he just needs to buck up and ffucking face them. i'm sick of this shit. i really am.

i don't get it.

What the fuck ever anymore

I woke up today and everything was ok.

I just got to thinking .... why am I always being put down by my boyfriend?

I don't look like a malnourished orphan, and my mohawk is not a fin. I mean if he said it once or twice fine. but last night malnourished was every other word out of his mouth. like what the actual fuck.
seriously. i thought he was supposed to make me happy, make me feel better when others put me down.

instead, nobody else puts me down. just him.

like what the fuck.

Damn...

I just screw up everything.

Alex unfriended me....
Kyle won't talk to me....
Chris won't talk to me....
My current boyfriend is probably thinking about breaking up with me...

I just can't fucking do relationships. What the hell. I suck at this.

Someone teach me how to do this. :'(

...........
i feel like i over react to everything

i feel like i can't do anything right though

i just kinda feel like i'm losing the person i wanted to get closer and closer to =/

what the actual fuck

i might love him

but why should that stop me from loving you at all

why

what the hell

FUCK MY LIFE SO MUCH
why
i just wanted one thing to work out for once
just one
but i can't even have a good relationship apparently.
i fucked this one up before i even met him.
what the hell.
i give the fuck up.