cried my eyes out
cried my pain out
ready to start anew
i guess.
idk.
i basically accepted that he's gone
and that i am not gonna get him back in my life no matter what i do
cuz i was that immature about it all.
and this is just the price i pay.
whatevskis. i'll find someone eventually and i'll grow up for them when it's time.

fuckfuckfuck

started talking to chris again...
and..
fuck
i still have feelings for him apparently...
and
he has a bf
and is probs totally over me
goddamnit. something else kyle fucked up in my life.
if he had just followed his heart he wouldnt have fucked that up
he was just a waste of time.
fuck him and his bullshit

you can't...

you can't just tell me how i think, if that's not how i think. so i'm not going to let you look at me that way so of course i'm going to be upset about it.

i do weird things, and i like attention. that does not mean i do things for attention.

so get down off your high horse, and shut the fuck up about how my mind works. cuz you don't even know the half.

asshole

it's a water bottle.
and i just wanted to see you one last time before you leave my life forever.
you'll get the goddamn thing tomorrow.
i just wanted to fucking see you.
you didnt have to be an ass about it.

back together and apart

we talked it out, we were okay.
and then  i get an email. not even a goddamn phone call so i can hear you say it.
we're okay when we're together but not when we're apart. that doesnt even make sense.
if you don't have the balls to say it to my face then nothing is actually fucking wrong.
fucking stay out of my life.

I just want some space

i asked him for 3 days of space since we broke up anyway and i just need to take some time to myself to relax and try and get him off my mind.
so he texts me every hour saying that we need to talk about this before i ignore him.  he's beyond clingy right now, and that's severely not okay with me.
i don't have a problem with not talking to him for a few days cuz i know he'll be there when it's over. and if he's not then it's something completely stupid to be upset about. i asked for space becaus ei'm being suffocated by someone i'm not even dating anymore.
we're not dating. we're just friends. just friends don't cuddle like that. just friends dont sleep shirtless together. just friends would stay up til who knows when talking and watching movies and stuff, yeah. but you want too much, and i want too much. and neither of us is going to let it happen so i need to just take space and time so i can try and make myself okay with just being friends. and honestly, this clingy shit is makiing it so much more difficult to be even friends with you.....