i think i just switched for the first time in a while and kyle's honestly just trying to hurt me anymore and i dont know what to do and i can't tak ethis anymore. i'm shaking from the anger and crying from the pain of it all. i'm not a horrible person to him so why do i feel like one.

Herp da Derp

sooooo... lifes gone from confusing to ok to fucked up to what's going on.
and right now... it's pretty awesome.
i've got a good guy, who's making me focus on school more so i guess it's good in that way too. haha. he's the biggest sweet heart i've ever met and i'm glad he's mine.
... i almost believe in love at first sight with him. 
sooo yeah....
i did apologize to kyle, he didn't accept it, but i tried. and that's what counts. i did what i could. and got closure i needed from it. so i moved on. and now i have andy =] and he's amazing

i dont even know what the fuck is going on anymore.
i'm gonna apologize to kyle and hopefully set a lot of things right with him so he can be happier after all i've put him through. idk we'll see.

cried my eyes out
cried my pain out
ready to start anew
i guess.
idk.
i basically accepted that he's gone
and that i am not gonna get him back in my life no matter what i do
cuz i was that immature about it all.
and this is just the price i pay.
whatevskis. i'll find someone eventually and i'll grow up for them when it's time.

fuckfuckfuck

started talking to chris again...
and..
fuck
i still have feelings for him apparently...
and
he has a bf
and is probs totally over me
goddamnit. something else kyle fucked up in my life.
if he had just followed his heart he wouldnt have fucked that up
he was just a waste of time.
fuck him and his bullshit